All's Fair in Love and War
by Au Revoir Paulette
Summary: "Some of the greatest works of all times-letters. They reveal the hearts and souls of you." When Eli leaves for war; him and Clare must salvage their relationship with letters; their ultimate test. A story told completely in the forms of letters.
1. June 20, 2013

June 20, 2013

Elijah,

You are gone to God knows-where, but you are gone.

Initially this letter was going to be about how _stupid_ you are and about how you are making the biggest mistake of your life, but I'm pretty sure I already told you enough and you've heard enough from everybody and if you still didn't listen to them when you could've well, how is this letter going to make a difference? You are already on the plane.

Realization also hit me and I knew that no matter how much I _want_ to be mad at you, I shouldn't be. You're going to need support after all. So all I want to say is:  
**I'm sorry.  
**I shouldn't have reacted the way i did. But what else was I supposed to do? You don't tell your girlfriend on her graduation day that you enlisted in the military _behind_ her back AND you're scheduled to deploy the day after. You just don't do stuff like that!  
You don't.

You know what? No. God, I'm sorry but you _are_ stupid. SO STUPID. You barely graduated a year ago! How could you just drop out of uNiversity? And to fight...I thought you were done with chasing bullies, Elijah. I thought you had left that behind in high school. I thought you were better than that.  
I thought you loved me.  
We had a future planned out damn it! Now _your_ future isn't so sure. Do you know how scary it is knowing that? Knowing I can loosed you at any moment and not because you want to, or I want to, but because some other idiot thinks it'd be OK to shoot at you.

You've hurt me Elijah, more than you'll ever know. But like I said, I shouldn't be mad at you. I can't not knowing you're going to face horrible things. I know you'll need support and I want to reassure you that'll you get it from me.

I love you more than anything.  
Please take care. I'll be praying for you.

God Bless,  
Clare Edwards


	2. June 27, 2013

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.**

**A/N: Continue? **

* * *

June 27, 2013

Dear Clare What-ever-your-last-name-is,

Seriously? You know you're name is Clare Edwards, I know your name is Clare Edwards so why oh why would you sign your full name? Now that is stupid. Not me.

Anyways, glad we established what your name is, let's tackle your letter; which I have to say was a lot to take in. But your letter-writing skills sure have improved since our days in Ms. Dawes's.

First off, did you know you used God's name in vain twice, you cursed once, and you called me "Elijah" three times? Are you OK? Wait, stupid of me to ask. You also mentioned you weren't.

Which brings us to point number two:

I'm sorry. I didn't know you would take it so hard. I just hoped you could've understood my decision and stood by me, not freak out on me like everyone else did. I know you still don't get it, but just understand it was my choice. I really wanted to do it, I wanted to help, I want to make a difference. Don't question it. I've never been more sure of something. Which is why I never told you I enlisted in the first place. Which is why I never worried you with the fact that I was leaving the day after your graduation, you had a lot more to think about; getting ready to give your salutatorian speech, sending your final transcripts to NYU, just- I couldn't put such a heavy worry on your shoulders. You also have to understand that.

As I was reading your letter on the plane I couldn't help but picture your face as I last saw it, waving goodbye to me as my recruiter drove away from my house. I knew you were still upset with me, but thank you. It meant so much to me to have you there and for allowing me to kiss you one last time. It also meant a lot to my parents having you there, they really love you Clare and came to think of you as the daughter they never had; it was really hard for them seeing their only child go to war. So thank you for offering your support to them as well.

Thank you for also understanding that me knowing you're mad at me would mess with my mind. So, thank you for telling me you won't be as much and that you'll offer support to me as well. I just can't help but feel guilty for leaving you though.

I'll always, always be thinking of you. I love you.

I know I didn't leave on good terms with you. So really, I don't expect for you to wait for me or to continue wanting a relationship. You're starting university now, in the states, pleas enjoy it to the fullest, enjoy your last summer. Please. Don't worry so much about me. Don't wait for me. As much as I would want to, I love you too much and your happiness matters to me most of all. So please, don't put your life on hold for my decision.

Thank you for your prayers.

Love always,

Eli.

p.s. Eli, NOT Elijah.


	3. July 6, 2013

July 6, 2013

Eli,

Even in such a horrible situation you _would_ point out how many times I cursed. You are unbelievable.  
I also want to point out that I called you Elijah because: one, that's your name; and two, I was very upset with you! Not anymore though. Like I wrote before, I'm not going to mention how upset or mad or sad I am. Don't worry about me. Just stay focused so you'll be safe. Please.

One question though: Do you honestly believe I won't wait for you? You're crazy, Greens. Do you honestly believe I'm just going to forget about you? Go on with my summer care-free and worry-free because I don't have a boyfriend anymore? If you wanted to break up you could've just said so before leaving. Other than that. No. I won't forget about you. I'll be waiting for you, _always_, don't doubt that. I love you... and your idiotic decisions.  
I love you so please, _please_ be safe, I can't stress this enough. Don't do anything _too_ stupid (Notice I say "too" because I know you'll still make questionable decisions.) Just make sure to come back to me.

By the way, where are you? I mean, your mom gave me this address to write letters to, but I'm pretty sure you're no longer in Canada or this continent for that matter. So what do I do now? And how soon do you get my letters? Notice the date and tell me.

I miss you so much already. Just yesterday Adam was planning a BBQ and he was going to put you down to bring your amazing dip, but then we realized you weren't here anymore. I cried. I can't believe I'm spending my last summer here without you.

Love you and miss you and _always_ thinking of you,  
Clare

p.s. I was trying to be a bit more romantic. That's why I signed my full name. I should've figured you weren't going to like it, Elijah.


	4. July 17, 2013

**A/N:**

**1. Than you so much for the story alerts, I'm happy to hear there's some interest in this piece.  
2. I want to have some background on the story. This will be a multi-chapter fic. It will also _all_ be written in the forms of letters. I love the book "Dear John" so this kind of inspired the form of it. I'm still debating whether or not to include the letters that Adam and Eli's parents and friends are sending him as well; or to just mention them and keep the letter strictly between Clare and Eli. **

**I hope people are still interested so I can know whether or not to update it. **

**Thank you,  
****Paulette. **

**Diclaimer: I don't own any pop-cultural references or Degrassi. **

* * *

July 17, 2013

My dearest Clare,

^How is that for being romantic?

I'm so happy to hear (read?) that you still love me and that'll you wait for me. Don't worry babe, I'm coming back to you. I promise you. I literally yelled with how happy your letter made me, now all the guys in my quarters think I'm a lunatic. Then again, my roommate did as well so that's nothing new.

I love you times a million, infinity, and whatever other big number you can think of. You're much smarter than me after all.

I can't tell you exactly where I am, that's private, but rest assure I'm always thinking of you and that'll I'll always get your letters. I tend to get them 5 days later though. But I read them as soon as the helicopter arrives; yours, Adam's, my parent's, and everyone else's. I'm sorry if you don't get them fast enough, you probably get them later then what the date is on here right?

Can you do me a favor though?

Can you write to me every, single detail of your summer? I want to know everything, I want to feel as if I'm there with you, I want a little bit of home.

Tell me what you've done, who've you seen, what songs you listen to. Everything. Please.

I need some sanity, it's so different here, good and bad different. Just... different.

It's good to hear you've been hanging out with Adam, someone needs to keep him out of trouble while I'm gone. But seriously? Having a BBQ without my amazing dip is not really a BBQ, you could always ask my mom to give you my recipe; although it won't be as good as mine.

Mentioning my mom, can you keep and eye out on her? I don't know, if you're not too busy getting everything ready for NYU in the fall, could you just go and visit her sometime. Keep her some company. With my dad working so much I know she gets lonely and maybe having you there would keep her mind off of me for a bit. Her letters are starting to sound more and more frantic, you know how she gets.

I'd seriously appreciate it if you could.

I miss you. So much.

I'm thinking of you every minute of everyday.

Love you always,

Eli.


	5. July 23, 2013

July 23, 2010

Eli,  
You are just so funny. But I don't think thats romantic enough. Just saying.

"You're much smarter than me after all."  
I highlighted that phrase on your letter. I mean, just in case one day we have a fight and you will swear you were right even though I know you aren't and you'd say that I didn't know anything. Just for proof. So I can show you the letter and prove you wrong. That I do know everything because you admitted before that I was much smarter than you.  
You shouldn't have written it. I'm never, _ever_ going to have you live it down.

As for your request. Do you really want me to bore you with the details of my "stuck-in-the-suburbs-fresh-out-of-high-school, just-waiting-for-life-to-begin" stage that I'm currently living? It's pretty boring.  
But here it goes.  
The day you wrote your letter (July 17) I helped my mom clean out my dad's closet. It was time you know? She can't kid herself any longer, he's gone. He's been gone. She took it well... I suppose. I just had to buy 20 boxes of kleenex. Other than that, it went well.

After that day I mostly just chilled with Alli at her house. She's still in school though, her private school hasn't let out for the summer yet. I showed her my prom pictures that I got in the mail that week too, and she said you can't smile. So I suggest you work on that OK? I don't want our wedding pictures to be ruined because either you come out looking _too_ serious or you have that horrible one-sided smile. Sav is back in town also and when he found out you enlisted he was pretty mad, apparently he didn't sell his guitar to this one guy because he said _you_ wanted it. So now he's stuck with it and he need some cash. Fast. Really Eli? You could've _told_ him before you left.

I know Adam's been writing to you, but has he mentioned anything about a... girl? He's been acting so weird lately, every time I call him to hang out he says he's "busy" or he "can't" but I _know_ something is going on. I know you love me, so would you _please_ tell me? (Insert my adorable face and smile here.) In conclusion, I have not been hanging out with Adam as much.

But want to know who I _have _been seeing a lot of lately?  
Your mom!  
I just laughed. That sounds like it would be a joke. Get it? "Your mom?"  
I can totally picture you rolling your eyes, but it's _funny.  
_Anyways, your mom. She taught me how to cook fast and cheap and easy dorm foods. So far I know how to make pasta with a really good butter sauce, eggs benedict, and this cheese and meat casserole. They're super good, I don't know why you were complaining last year about food. She said she taught you as well. But every time I would go to your dorm it'd be filled with fast food. You're ridiculous.  
I love your mom. She's also teaching me about her photography, it's pretty fun. I'm learning how to develop real film, but it's still in the works. The pictures come out either too dark or washed out.  
Speaking of pictures, your mom gave me a whole album of when you were a baby. You were _so_ cute. I look at it everyday.

I don't know what else to mention. Nothing else is knew around here.  
Everyone misses you and last Sunday in church the pastor mentioned you and everyone prayed for your well-being. I, of course, arranged that.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.  
I miss your hugs, your hands, your eyes, your lips. YOU.

Come back soon! Really. I love you so much Eli. So, so, so, so much.

Praying and thinking of you always,  
Clare


	6. July 27, 2013

July 23, 2013

Oh Clare,

I knew I shouldn't have written that. Now you really do have it in writing that I think you're smarter than me, but please note now that I write think and not know.

Thank you for writing every single detail of your day. I honestly didn't think it was boring. It's refreshing, really, I need some sanity in this place!

Those video games... yeah, do not prepare you for this.

So you got those prom pictures huh? Could you send me one? I want a picture of my girl right here, next to my bunk. I want to show you off too. The guys here tease me about you. They think you don't exist and that you're my sister or something, just writing me letters.

If only they knew the little vixen that you are...

Oh Clare, I miss you. More than you can imagine.

I've been talking to this guy here, Mark. He has a girl back home too, he had a chance to marry her before he got shipped off though. He's always talking about her, it makes me miss you even more.

Your laugh, your smile, the way you would tease me for not waking up on time, how I can tell you everything. I miss your voice.

I'm glad to know you're hanging out with mom, but I can see her humor is wearing off on you. And by humor I mean lack of.

As for that baby album, please, please, please don't tease me about the pictures in their. I was a minor and therefore couldn't beg my mom to not take any naked pictures of me in the bathtub.

Let me talk about Adam now...

Yes he has been writing to me. yes he has mentioned he hasn't seen much of you. But no i won't tell you why.

Come on now Clare, you must understand that even if I am 10470 kilometers away I do not break guy-code.

He'll tell you when he wants.

I have to stop writing now if I want this letter to be sent out today. There is so much more I would like to say, but can't.

So please, don't stop writing to me, remember tell me every detail.

Send me pictures if you can, anything to remind me of home and of you.

I miss you and I think of you every single day that I'm here.

I love you Clare.

I'll be home soon.

Love you always,

Eli


End file.
